I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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