i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
