You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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