I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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