Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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