UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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