I must be too annoying 4 u.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
