Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
