don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
