this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
