false alarm. still invincible.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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