sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
