I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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