WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
