this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
