but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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