I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
