I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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