How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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