it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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