My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
