she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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