I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
