saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
