IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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