so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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