your thong is hanging out like whoa
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
