can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I want to be your penis for a week.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
