My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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