Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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