Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
