Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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