marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
