i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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