My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
