she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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