Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
you win again, gameday.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
