I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
