margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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