I showed him my bush... on skype.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
