She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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