And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
