I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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