I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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