He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
