You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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