I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
