I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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