who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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