He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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