At least make sure they are 18
Why
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
